Ontario DreadBall League

Here comes the Ontario DreadBall League!

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I’ve wanted to get a DreadBall League going again for a few years now. A while back some friends and I had a small League but it wasn’t well organised and eventually fell apart. The time has come to give it  another try.

We are stating small with 4 coaches. We’d hoped to get 6, which seems like a good number, but we decided better to just start than spend any more time recruiting. That said, if you are in Ontario and want to join let me know (geoff@breaddoll.com) ASAP, and we’ll see if we can work it out. If you’re on the fence stay tuned for updates on Season 1 of the Ontario DreadBall League (ODBL or OddBall). We’ll likely do a Season 2 starting in the summer and look to expand the number of coaches participating.

The plan is to have each coach play each other coach twice. One game will be as the Home coach and the other as the Away/Visiting coach. We’ll have 2 weeks to organise and play each match. With 6 matches on the schedule the league should take about 3 months. This will work with only 4 coaches. Once we expand the league we will have to revisit how we run the schedule. Maybe divisions?

I have decided to play Brokkr in Season 1 of the ODBL. I was planning to play them at Adepticon this year so choosing them for this league will incentivize me to get them painted and ready to go.

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My Brokkr paint scheme.

I will also magnetise the Brokkr Guard(s) arms and heads so they can be converted to Keepers over the course of the league.

I will have more information on the ODBL in my next article. Hopefully we’ll have at least played our first match and I’ll have pics of my painted Brokkr team. Wish me luck and I’ll talk to you in 3 weeks.

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League Logistics: Season Starter & Preferred Play

A new DreadBall season has launched!  A new CORT DreadBall season.  Long time BreadDoll readers will know this editor-in-chief throws the most Strikes in league play.  League Play is the best play.  The Citizens Of Rage Town have been fortunate to compete and curse one another over seven seasons.  Rivalries have formed.  Collusion has been plotted.  Membership has expanded and traditions have been established.  Tradition is important.  Without ritual, import can lessen, brotherhood can diminish, and hazing cannot be exacted.

Some CORT league traditions were plotted.  Like trophies.  Other traditions were impromptu.  This BreadDoll post chronicles a lesser known tradition for CORT; the announcement of team selection for an upcoming season.

Since CORT’s second season, Coaches take turns announcing their team selection over a private group in a popular social media site.  The tradition is rather simple.  From the previous season’s last place Coach (Sacko winner) to the Champ (DreadBalls Trophy Champion), announcements must be made within a seventy-two hour window.  Selection is strategic, and the meta-game must be considered.  Too “bashy?”  Movement too low?  What’s the Skill on those Strikers?!  Coaches pick wisely, and find the perfect method of deliver announcement.  Sarcasm, snark, and sniping are in order.

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A new season requires a new banner. CORT season 8 is… “THE OCHO.”
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Coach Dave bucks the trend. Dave is our newest CORT inductee. New Coaches get their pick of the litter. Dave originally posted a picture of his beautifully painted MATSUDAN team. The rest of CORT was appreciative, but we ‘asked’ him to follow-up with an announcement that was a bit more… CORT.  He delivered.  Welcome to CORT old chap.
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CORT Season 7 Sacko winner Gavrie announced his selection with a locust swarm. He’s buffing his Z’ZOR exoskeletons.
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Coach Steve is an amazing fine arts photographer. His forte? Framing shots of miniature robots/automatons destroying humanoid dioramas. This pic not only captures one of Steve’s creations, it also captures his team selection. MECHANITES.
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I had a tough season 7 with the Z’zor. Hubris got the best of me, and my two glorious Bug Guards got sent to the locker room before the playoffs. This time around? I wanted a team with a theme I could get behind. I’m a horror hound, and I love blood and bots and bits. My selection deliberately took 71.5 hours, and I chose the CYBORGS.
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Coach Jamie fielded the brutal and brutally slow Matsudan in season 7. In season 6, his weapon of choice were the Tsudochan. Fed up with slow movement and too many Jacks, season 8 is built for speed. He posted a video of the ‘Renegades of Funk.’ Catchy, because his YNDIJ team name is ‘Renegades of Drunk.’
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Coach Alex was subtle? He posted this pic, and left many of us guessing. I thought, “CONVICTS!” Another coach thought “REJECTS!” Nope. Alex schooled us all with a US of A college football reference; Ol Miss. REBELS.
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DreadBalls Trophy Champion x 4, and nemesis to all, Coach Zak posted a video. The BreadDoll can’t afford to post videos, so here’s another still. Quint makes a declaration after an evening of drinking. It ain’t good. SPHYR.
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And last year’s DreadBalls Champion, Coach Brett, drops this little gem. A bit of a deep dive unless you graduated from Hogwarts or Trump University. NAMELESS.
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Scheduling eight professional adults is tricky business. Season 8’s Kickoff was no exception, and we could only muster 6. And so dice were rolled. Coach Zak and Dave had to square off on their own (Dave won).
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A new tradition is made! At least for this season. For every game with the Renegades of Drunk, a celebratory shot MUST be consumed!
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‘Reach’ is total BS.
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These robots are buckets-of-broke against space cats/squirrels.
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This match looks like a Greek lunch platter.
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Seafood and guests and DreadBall. 3 day limit.
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And so, CORT’s DB S8 wraps a evening of play sans two Coaches. Their numbers still need to be recorded, but here begins the new record! May the best Coach win.

DreadBall is a splendid game.  Not without warts, but a deep dive does not go without reward.  One-offs are fun, and tournaments are an occasional hoot.  But if any BreadDoll reader can wrangle a few like-minded mates together?  There are few things more enjoyable than a 90 minute game of miniature Space Jam, coupled with pints and close friends.  League play!  Do it!

Rush Report: CORT Season 7 Playoffs (2)

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Elmer and Dobbs make another appearance on the Azure Forest. Good luck Coaches!

Coaches!  This BreadDoll Editor-in-Chief has ONCE AGAIN witnessed one the greatest DreadBall matches of all time.  And ONCE AGAIN, it is only now that I begin to sober-up from an intoxicating evening of pure sports genius.

DreadBall league CORT held their second playoff game last night.  Season seven was a close affair among all eight Coaches.  But as the Championship game approaches, only four can go into the playoffs.  The second playoff contest was Brett’s Mean Machine Team (sponsored by Miller Lite) [Trontek 29ers] vs. Alex’s The Replicants [Draconian All-Stars].

I’m still no Jimmy Olsen, but I did my best to capture the dynamics.  Photos detail a few outcomes from key actions and positions at the end of every Rush.

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Set-up complete, and Alex’s Neo-bots take the first Rush.
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Rush 1: Alex ultimately scores 1 point, after a slick Extended Run Interference by Brett. Brett’s Jack took the ball from the launch and played keep away. Alex gave chase, knocking both the Jack prone AND seriously injuring Brett’s best Striker. Only then was it time to score.
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And THIS is what happens when you take the ball on another Coach’s Rush.
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Alex’s support staff is well trained…
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Rush 2: Brett retaliates with a two pointer. Score = Brett 1.
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Rush 3: Alex attempts to smash Brett’s second good Striker and comes up short via Brett’s leggy line of Cheerleaders. So Alex heads off to pick up the ball. And fails.
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Rush 4: Brett takes advantage of the loose ball. Two precious cards are spent, but Brett pulls in a one pointer. Score = Brett 2.
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Rush 5: Alex does what he does, and he finishes his actions with a two point Strike. Score = TIED
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Rush 6: Brett returns fire with a two point Strike of his own. Score = Brett 2.
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Rush 7: Surprise surprise. Alex scores 2. Score = TIED
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Rush 8: The pattern continues. Brett returns the maneuver with his own 2 point Strike. Again, the score = Brett 2.
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Rush 9: Alex pushes AND SCORES A THREE! Brett did his best to prevent it: An extended RI and two cards burns. It didn’t work. Alex takes the lead.
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Rush 10: And Brett returns fire with a two pointer. Score = Brett 1.
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Rush 11: Alex “lays wood,” and takes out another Striker with a Serious Injury. Then, a two point Strike.
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Rush 12: Brett’s Guard smashes the previously scoring Neo-bot Striker and sends him out for 2. Then, Brett’s Jack grabs the ball and shoots for 1. Score = TIED.
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Rush 13: Alex almost has the ball, until he doesn’t. F***ing Cheerleader. FLAUNT IT FLAUNT IT FLAUNT IT
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Rush 14: The ball is within reach. It is Brett’s game to lose…
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And what comes around, goes around. Alex uses his own Cheerleader’s ‘Flaunt It,’ and the Rush is over. Off to Over Time!
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OT/Rush 15: Alex is pole position for a ball pick up. UNTIL BRETT PLAYS EXTENDED RUN INTERFERENCE! An incredible string of luck allows the Jack to weasel away from threats, pick up the ball, run, and throw to a ready Striker.
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Brett scores 1. ON ALEX’S RUSH.
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Alex finally grabs the newly launched ball, and fires off a shot for two. Score = Alex 1.
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OT / Rush 16: Brett spends 3 action tokens buying cards, just in case he needs to reroll. Then, a reliable Striker just needs to double the pick up, dash, and score two. Doable, right? Doesn’t pick up the ball. CARD. Doesn’t double the pick up. CARD. Doesn’t dash. CARD. Doesn’t make the two point shot. COACH! Brett wins by 1.

What a finish!  Alex programmed magic with Romeo Blue and Linked.  Brett’s impressive Support Staff brought (bought?) opportunity and upset over and over.  Who would have thought?  Two CORT playoff matches BOTH determined in Overtime!?

Brett’s Mean Machine Team heads into the CORT Championship match undefeated.  More impressive?  Brett is a rookie Coach! is opponent is not so green.  Zak is long in the tooth when it comes to DreadBall.  His Brokkr team is grizzled, steady, and tough as nails.  Brett’s  This season will be his sixth appearance in the big game.  He’s won four times.

Do readers want to see rosters?  Congratulate Coaches?  Hire harlots for their own nefarious plans?  Let it be known in the comments below.  While you’re at it, subscribe to the blog!

Rush Report: CORT Season 7 Playoffs (1)

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Coaches!  This BreadDoll Editor-in-Chief may have witnessed one the greatest DreadBall matches of all time.  Only now do I begin to sober-up from an intoxicating evening of pure sports genius.

DreadBall league CORT held their first playoff game last night.  Season seven was a close affair among all eight Coaches.  But as the Championship game approaches, only four can go into the playoffs.  First to the pitch was Ken’s Lanier Heights Losers [Rejects] vs. Zak’s Russia’s Red Twitter Bot Army [Brokkr].

I’m no Jimmy Olsen, but I did my best to capture the dynamics.  Photos detail a few outcomes from key actions and positions at the end of every Rush.  Post-match rosters are at the end.

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Removed from the normal stadiums in the CORTroom dungeon, this playoff match was held in The Kearny Lounge at Hill House. As such, the outlying Azure Forest pitch was employed. Brokkr begin the 1st rush.
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Zak uses his Brokkr Team Captain to good use. His 3+ Skill Striker uses THREE actions (plus a card) to get into the deep strike zone. Score for 3 in Rush 1.

 

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Ken exhausts one card, and two actions to gang up on Zak’s Team Captain. The Driller Thriller goes out for 1.
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Ken finishes his Rush 2 with an unguarded 2 point Strike.
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Rush 3: Zak brushes aside the tree beast and scores a 4!
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Rush 4: Ken beats down on the last Stirker, and returns fire once again with his Renegade Yndij. 2 points!
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Rush 5: A pattern emerges. Zak now brings in a Jack to score a 2 pointer. Meanwhile…
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Rush 6: Ken lays the beatdown from behind on the recently scored Jack. Then his Cherry picking Stiker once again effortlessly grabs the ball and scores for 2. Score, Zak 3.
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Rush 7: I’ll be damned.  Zak uses his Team Captain card “Brokkr and role” – the little f***er rolls two spaces away from the Tree Beast, and then stands up!
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AND here’s the first big swing and a miss. Zak goes for the shot and comes up short. Ken’s Rush!
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Rush 8: Ken sacks Zak, but does not acquire the ball. Off to Rush 9! Score is still 3 Zak.
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Rush 9: Zak is caught in a logger jam. The ball remains untouched.
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Rush 10: Ken piles on! A barely seen Striker enters the pitch to lock up the Team Captain even MORE. MOAR!!! Meanwhile, Ken sends his Zee Jack to grab the ball and boogie to the.. Dugout?
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Rush 11: Zak finishes up his Rush with no ball, and little to show. EXCEPT. The Reject Jetari Guard has taken a power down in the sin bin.
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Rush 12: Ken brings that Zee Jack up to mid-field and passes to his primo Striker. You know what happens next…
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Ken scores! The 2 pointer moves the score differential to 1 point Zak. Meanwhile, Ken brought out a Blood Sucking Nameless Jack to cock-block Zak’s 3+ Skill Striker.
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Rush 13: Zak deftly scores 3 thanks to his Team Captain supporting three actions per player and that handsome 3+ Skill Striker.
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Rush 14: Ken pulls off the impossible. The bloodsucker comes up to attack a Keeper with his Zee Jack assisting. Cards are rerolled, as well as a Cheerleader. THE LANE IS OPEN!
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Rush 14: Ken makes his first 4 point strike of the game. OVERTIME!!!
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OT / Rush “15”: Zak scores 3. Can Ken stay alive?
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OT/ “Rush 16”: Ken clears his lane for a 4 point opportunity. Then, Zak plays a Cheerleader on the ball pick-up. Ken rolls a one. Game over. Zak 3 points. ONE HELL OF.A GAME. Perhaps the best I’ve seen. Well done Coaches.
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Ken’s finished roster. 1 of 2.
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Ken’s finished roster. 2 of 2.
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Zak’s finished roster. 1 of 1.

While Ken does not advance to the Championship match, he does leave behind the specter of past seasons: The Sacko.  CORT’s worst Coach of the season is awarded a… less than flattering trophy.  Ken has been it’s recipient too often.  Not this time.  This season, his Rejects grew into a scoring juggernaut and laid some opponents into serious injury.

Zak move into the Championship game!  He’s no stranger to the top tier test.  With his seventh season appearance, he’s been to the Championship match six times!  He’s taken home the colossal CORT DreadBalls Championship Trophy Four times!  Will he do it again?  And if so, who does he defeat?

CORT’s second playoff match is tonight, June 29 2018.  Alex’s Neo-Bots vs. Brett Male Corporation.  Will this BreadDoll editor be lucid enough to document the game?!

Comments, questions, and congratulations to the Coaches are welcome below.

League Logistics: Alternative Supporting Staff

DreadBall can be played in many formats: Single Matches, Ultimate, Xtreme, Tournaments, or my favorite – League.

I belong to a private gentlemen’s club affectionately named CORT, Citizens Of Rage Town.  We gather on scheduled intervals to smack talk, drink beer, and play games. More often than not, that game is DreadBall.  More often than not, our DreadBall teams have coaches.  As self appointed Minister of Miniatures for CORT, I created a set of alternative models for support staff use.  This is the story…

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When CORT was in it’s infancy, five gentlemen played Risk Legacy.  At campaign’s end, I recruited/held hostage all members to model for a painting.  I’m an artist who enjoys painting portraiture.  Especially masked portraiture of pop culture icons.  So it was with CORT’s sitting.  It was a painting of Marvel Superheroes.  The Avengers.  For another painting, I happened to have a Spiderman mask.  Thereafter, I loosely identified the OG CORT members as;
Alex P. = Cpt. America
Jamie E. = Thor
Zak B. = Hulk
Steve S. = Iron Man
Me = Spiderman

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Wodzianski, Andrew. Portrait of the Artist’s monthly Risk Group as the Avengers. 2012.  20×48″ Oil on canvas
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Wodzianski, Andrew. Self Portrait as Spider-Man. 2013. 26×24″ Oil on canvas

When CORT evolved into multiple seasons of DreadBall, I decided it would be fun to have avatars for our coaching staff.  I found some Marvel toys called “Handful of Heroes.”  They were a slightly larger scale than DreadBall, but the minis would never be considered players.  They would just be on the sidelines.  So I bought some.  Okay.  I bought a lot.  Fortunately, they were heavily discounted at a store called Five Below.  I ended up with close to 40 minis for 40 bucks.

I painted the original Avengers plus Spiderman. At this point, CORT had an additional member.  Ken C.  Ken was not part of the Avengers painting, so he needed an avatar.  I chose Doc Ock.  Ken can be a scheming evil bastard on occasion and he use to grope people at clubs*.  Made sense to me.

* This is an inappropriate lie I just fabricated.

Anyway, not knowing when to say when – I expanded everyone’s original avatar to three.  A DreadBall coaching staff can have three coaches, so CORT members should have three coaches as well.  I tried to group Marvel characters to personalities & rivalries, and kept one constant; every member would be issued a sculpt of the Hulk to use as an ‘offensive coach.’  I’ve inserted rationales to each member beneath their respective picture.

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Steve S. Do the robot! OG Iron Man cause you’re old. Mark 6 cause that’s the one you portrayed for canvas. Robot Hulk because your rage is always just an algorithm. You’re not programmed for real passionate freak-outs like the rest of us.
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Jamie E. Maestro is the only Hulk with a beard. Of course this should be your Hulk avatar. Thor recognizes your Ragnorok roots. Sabertooth acknowledges your blonde roots, gnarly fangs, and love of the outdoors.
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Andrew W. Spiderman is there because I once painted myself nude while wearing a Spiderman mask. Also, Spidey is a smart talking d**khead that’s not nearly as talented as he thinks he is. Professor Hulk is a f***ing professor. So am I. Also, he’s a nut. Also, bunny slippers. Venom represents that fact that I am my own worse enemy…
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Ken C. The Thing to represent your propensity at CLOBBERIN. Doc Ock to represent groping bodies and money. Dark Hulk to acknowledge that your skin tone is different from all of the other Hulk skin tones.
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Alex P. World War Hulk to protect yourself from wrangling alley cats. Black Panther to symbolize your oppression. I mean, to represent your affinity to cats. Captain American to resemble your handsome jaw.
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Zak B. Mad Hulk acknowledges that you have/had anger management issues. All Ages Hulk acknowledges that even more. DOCTOR DOOM… It took a while, but it just made sense. You’re a mastermind. A scheming, conniving, back stabbing plotter. That you do it with some bizarre Mid western charm is just as foreignly malicious as the Doctor from Bavaria.

Years later, we have two new members.  I really don’t know if our fresh CORT meat reads Marvel comics. I really don’t know if our fresh CORT meat plans on purchasing any coaching staff for their season 7 teams.  What I do know is – tradition is important.  CORT members can always choose from the official Mantic line of Supporting Staff models. There are some really cool ones (I dig the guy in the floating wheelchair).  However, I painted more Marvel models for the fresh meat, and they may choose them if they so desire.

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Brett P. Dr. Philip Stern, aka Madman. A well dressed, maniac. Well dressed, until he rips it all off. Ready to choke Hulk to the death. Gladiator Hulk has an axe. That’s overkill. You are overkill. Wolverine represents your outlier temperament while at the same time – your status as an Xmen. Your new classmate Gavrie also has an Xmen avatar.
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Gavrie K. Bi Beast respresents your take-down hatred of the Hulk*. Pipe bending Hulk to represent that beneath your smiling facade is a guy that can seriously f**k up some conduit. Colossus represents both silent strength and your Xmen class status. One that is shared with your other new classmate Brett. * Even though all CORT members have a Hulk model, I still consider Zak B. to be THE Hulk representative.

Hobby Highlight / Technical: Converting the models into DreadBall support staff was a fun learning experience.  Rustoleum‘s Universal Primer is the go-to primer for this particular plastic.  Once prepped, I had a blast painting such intense color schemes.  DeadBall bases were filled with putty, sanded, and primed The Army Painter Matt Black.  I gave each model a common front facing highlight as well at their projected threat.  Just in case they ever needed to enter the pitch…

Excelsior!