Confronting the brute strength of Buzzcut is scary. A Hobgoblin Hulk is a fright to all. But for the holiday of haunt, what if there was an entire team of terror?
Happy Halloween Coaches! Before you lies a morgue of marvels (pun intended). The BreadDoll presents a Mantic-Marvel crossover; THE LEGION OF MONSTERS!
Originally conceived as a ghastly gang of coaching assistants, this editor-in-chief collected a batch of Heroclix miniatures for easy conversion. A few witching hours later, and their true intent was clear. The monsters needed to play!
Custom teams are silly. It’s the flaccid writing of fandom and fanatics. And yet, here’s a DreadBall team of Silver Age monsters. Why? WHY?! A horror hound at heart, this BreadDoller just wanted some menacing coaches on the sidelines. After the little terrors were beautified*, and ready for a roster – I couldn’t stop wondering. What if Dracula was a DreadBall player? Werewolf by Night? The thought experiment reached an inevitable and creepy conclusion. The character stats are wonky, buy thematic. They’re over-powered, but not without vulnerabilities. Fun? Absolutely.
Beautiful creatures? It can be done. Heroclix are numerous, and with limitations set; inexpensive. Cut ’em off their base, mount ’em to your painting support, and spray ’em with a Matt varnish. The varnish will serve as a transparent “primer” for your custom brush work. They need the attention, because their pre-paint jobs are truly terrifying. Nevertheless, don’t strip ’em. Just use the pre-paint horror show as an undercoat.
A new DreadBall season has launched! A new CORT DreadBall season. Long time BreadDoll readers will know this editor-in-chief throws the most Strikes in league play. League Play is the best play. The Citizens Of Rage Town have been fortunate to compete and curse one another over seven seasons. Rivalries have formed. Collusion has been plotted. Membership has expanded and traditions have been established. Tradition is important. Without ritual, import can lessen, brotherhood can diminish, and hazing cannot be exacted.
Some CORT league traditions were plotted. Like trophies. Other traditions were impromptu. This BreadDoll post chronicles a lesser known tradition for CORT; the announcement of team selection for an upcoming season.
Since CORT’s second season, Coaches take turns announcing their team selection over a private group in a popular social media site. The tradition is rather simple. From the previous season’s last place Coach (Sacko winner) to the Champ (DreadBalls Trophy Champion), announcements must be made within a seventy-two hour window. Selection is strategic, and the meta-game must be considered. Too “bashy?” Movement too low? What’s the Skill on those Strikers?! Coaches pick wisely, and find the perfect method of deliver announcement. Sarcasm, snark, and sniping are in order.
DreadBall is a splendid game. Not without warts, but a deep dive does not go without reward. One-offs are fun, and tournaments are an occasional hoot. But if any BreadDoll reader can wrangle a few like-minded mates together? There are few things more enjoyable than a 90 minute game of miniature Space Jam, coupled with pints and close friends. League play! Do it!
Of the thirty published teams for DreadBall, one of my most enjoyable hobby experiences was painting the Cyborgs. Enjoyable, but also bat guano crazy. I chose a time consuming, and messy painting strategy in order to make the Revenants ready for prime-time. Herein lies the tale of technique that is not recommended for the squeamish or impatient.
Visually, DreadBall Cyborgs are a lot of meat bags with mechanical parts. Ratios of meat to mechanics may differ depending on the sculpt. They are cobbled together and their finish is not… refined. With no worries toward polish, I knew I wanted these bots to look battle worn. I wanted layered history, and I knew that required…
Follow along in a picture gallery of sameness, subtlety, and toothbrush subversion!
If any BreadDoll readers have questions about the techniques deployed or my mental health, please comment below. I also welcome any suggestions for a team name. I’m fielding the Cyborgs onto the pitch next week for my league’s EIGHTH season of DreadBall.
Though I’ve yet to commit to a team name, I lean towards CSI (Cyborg Sex Initiative). My Players have been identified.
Translation: Assemble human scum, and read the data generated from another successful ‘District of Columbia DreadBall Cup.’
The Martians hosted another NADC event, the DC*DC. An elite group of fearless Coaches accepted the Martian invite to play DreadBall in a daunting environment; WashingCon IV. It was the fourth DC*DC. It was the fourth WashingCon. Coincidence?
WashingCon is a convention like no other. Small, but sweet. Crowded, but cool. High priced, but high valued. WashingCon is a convention that focuses on playing board games. In particular, an abundance of family board games. You cannot swing a dead Yndij by the tail without hitting a child at WashingCon.
DreadBall was an outlier. It was the only miniature game presentat the convention, disguised as a board game! The Martians are tricky, mischievous organizers. In a bout of counter programming, gamers far and wide came to witness the spectacle of DreadBall demonstrations and a tournament. Flyers were distributed, and mints were consumed. Three veteran Coaches entered the contest, and three brand new Coaches learned to play on Saturday in order to compete on Sunday. Now that’s moxie.
Not surprisingly, the rookie Coaches got messed up against seasoned competitors. But the winners were generous, the losers were eager to play in the next tournament, and the folk in middle had playbook criticism. So it goes. The Supreme Leader marked these rules and results:
The 2018 NADC rules pack was in effect. In short; Team builds were 1,200 mc. No Giants, no transfers, no Ronnie Rejects, and no “We Can Rebuild Him.” Team Captains, support staff, and generic player advancements (one per player at 25 mc) were allowed.
Coach and Team name
Race. Tournament Points. Total Fan Cheers. Total Serious Injuries. Match specs.
6. Juan Casanas and his Bash Bros.!
Brokkr. 0. 48. 4
Match 1. vs. Andrew. 3 point loss in Rush 10.
Match 2. vs. Wes. 7 point loss in Rush 5.
Match 3. vs. Dave. 2 point loss in Rush 6.
Match 4. vs. Brett. 3 point loss in Rush 12.
5. Dave Erickson and his Hunky Human Hot Hogs!
Human Corporation, Male. 3. 28. 0.
Match 1. vs. Brett. 3 point loss in Rush 10.
Match 2. vs. Geoff. 7 point loss in Rush 3.
Match 3. vs. Juan. 2 point win in Rush 6.
Match 4. vs. Wes. 1 point loss in Rush 6.
4. Wes Hayden and his Convicts of the Criminally Corrupt!
Convicts. 6. 23. 0.
Match 1. vs. Geoff. 7 point loss in Rush 5.
Match 2. vs. Juan. 7 point win in Rush 5.
Match 3. vs. Andrew. 7 point loss in Rush 5.
Match 4. vs. Dave. 1 point win in Rush 6.
3. Andrew Wodzianski and his C.O.C.K.S.U.C.K.E.R.S.!
Z’zor. 6. 39. 2.
Match 1. vs Juan. 3 point win in Rush 10.
Match 2. vs. Brett. 7 point loss in Rush 13.
Match 3. vs Wes. 7 point win in Rush 5.
Match 4. vs Geoff. 2 point loss in Rush 12.
2. Brett Postal and his Vampy Voluptuous Voids!
Human Corporation, Female. 9. 21. 0
Match 1. vs Dave. 3 point win in Rush 10.
Match 2. vs Andrew. 7 point win in Rush 13.
Match 3. vs. Geoff. 7 point loss in Rush 7.
Match 4. vs. Juan. 3 point win in Rush 12.
And the champion Geoff Burbidge with his Sphyria’s Fist!
Sphyr. 12. 27. 0.
Match 1. vs. Wes. 7 point win in Rush 10.
Match 2. vs. Dave. 7 point win in Rush 3.
Match 3. vs. Brett. 7 point win in Rush 7.
Match 4. vs Andrew. 2 point win in Rush 12.
And so, the North American DreadBall Circuit comes to a close for 2018. Or does it? If another golden ticket to the National Championship at Adepticon 2019 is on the calendar, let us know in the comments below. Otherwise, keep the brushes swinging. Keep the Slams brutal. Keep the Strikes blistering. May all of your sixes explode, especially when you’re playing against this Geoff character…
The seventh season of DreadBall CORT has officially wrapped. While a celebratory, post-season Ultimate match will see the top ranked six Coaches compete in September, the worst and the the first have been crowned.
Among CORT’s many traditions, each season is named. Previous years have included;
S3 The Search for Spock
S5 Slaughterhouse Five
and S6 Christ Punchers
Most seasons are titled after pop culture references. Season seven’s title, “Fresh Meat,” was literal. For the first time since it’s inception, CORT welcomed two new coaches into the fold. Their season debuts could not have been more different and their final matches are detailed below.
THE CORT DB S7 SACKO
VETERAN Steve’s Diaspora (Yndij) vs FRESH MEAT Gavrie’s Bruce (Sphyr)
The Sacko is played to determine the Coach with the worst season record. In a surprisingly tight field, the bottom game squared veteran Steve against fresh meat Gavrie.
THE CORT DB S7 Championship
FRESH MEAT Brett’s Mean Machine (Male Corporation) vs VETERAN Zak’s Russia’s Red Twitter Bot Army (Brokkr)
Several CORT Coaches will have an opportunity to seek revenge and hurl final insults during the post-season Ultimate match. BreadDoll readers can anticipate another Rush Report from that game. Meanwhile, Gavrie begins considering his team draft for Season 8. That season will see its first ball launch in October. Do readers have suggestions for CORT’s season 8 name? Let us know in the comments below.
The Greatest Sport in the Galaxy has a cast of colorful characters. Thirty distinct teams have spent time on the DreadBall pitch, throwing strikes and taking slams. It’s a randy rainbow. It’s majestic mayhem.
But the sidelines cannot be forgotten. Cheerleaders rally the crowd, Elmer and Dobbs call out Events, and the Eye-In-The-Sky surveils. All in colorful chaos. Also present? Assistant coaches!
DreadBall has a deep field of unique assistant coaching models. However, adding additional staff is very easy and inexpensive.
I fancy some relatively bizarre things. So I found their miniature equivalent and turned them into coaching assistants!
Would BreadDoll readers like to create their own? It can be accomplished in short order. A step-by-step tutorial below:
Finished! Easy, inexpensive, and most important – FUN.
Would any BreadDoll readers like to receive an alternative assistant coach? Subscribe to our BreadDoll blog between 7/31/18 and 8/6/18. We’ll randomly select someone, and mail a mini after we return from Gen Con.
I am DONE. I have painted everything for DreadBall. And then some…
My gaming club (CORT) went “all-in” for the first two DreadBall Kickstarter campaigns, and I grabbed the 2nd Edition Kickstarter bundle. As part of our acquisition program, I made a commitment to my mates that I would paint the entire lot.
I initially anticipated twelve teams, a few giants, and a handful of MVPs. That was an ambitious, but manageable oath. Then, there was another set of teams, giants, and MVPs. Not to mention a new game. Then, there was a second edition. Not to mention new, second edition components. My commitment had serious “mission creep.”
Every team, MVP, Giant, Staff, Accessory… Done. 600 plus models. It was a hell of a project, and now I’m going to go drink a beer. Maybe more.
[returning to the keyboard after two pints]
In the five and a half years it took to paint these little galactic athletes, I learned a lot. Miniature painting is a peculiar past time that affords moments of clarity on various topics; health, wellness, legacy, relationships, endurance, persistence, and dedication to name a few. Practically, I did learn a bit about pushing wet pigment around on toys.
Below lies my assessment of DreadBall miniatures. I call the proceedings my “DreadBall Superlatives.” Fourteen Rushes, fourteen categories. These opinions are mine and mine alone. All of this took longer that I’ll ever admit. Please share your opinions on my purely subjective distinctions in the comments.
Bur first, there are preambles!
I. I chose very early to mimic the color (ahem, colour) schemes of Mantic’s production photos. In part because I wanted to challenge myself, and also because I thought it would be a soft promotional tactic when fielding the teams in public spaces.
II. I used Army Painter primer and paints. I used a combination of Army Painter and Citadel tones/washes.
III. I chose very early to strive for “table top standard.” My gaming club plays games. We don’t paint games. We’re middle aged men with eye glasses to see, and pint glasses to drink beer. None of us are scrutinizing the level of miniature detail from 30″ away. Also, time. With several hundred miniatures to paint, aiming for “TTS” quality helped move the process along.
[Lengthy diatribe] Despite being a professional artist, I only began painting miniatures in 2010 with Games Workshop’s 3rd edition of Space Hulk. This relatively new past time has been an interesting diversion from my normal studio practice of painting larger works on canvas. In one way, painting a miniature is instant gratification. I can finish a “TTS” miniature within a day, whereas a canvas may sometimes take three months. In another way, painting a miniature is like a glorified coloring book. I’m slapping paint onto a fully realized image that happens to be three-dimensional. The process is fun, but it’s technique driven and strictly complementary/secondary to the work of the illustrator & sculptor. As such, it’s no where near as rewarding or fulfilling for me as creating unique works from conception to final execution.
Form follows function. In Dreadball, this refers to a) the physical game, and b) the theme.
a) [Lengthier diatribe] DreadBall is a board game. It just happens to be a board game published by a miniatures gaming company. Consequently, DreadBall has many miniature game trappings. Nonetheless, there is a cardinal rule that must be observed in board gaming – FORM FOLLOWS FUNCTION. If Coaches are not familiar with this concept, it’s a phrase coined by the exemplary American architect Louis Sullivan. DreadBall is a tactical sport, and positioning is a vital concept for game mastery. Positioning is based on a hex (pun not intended). The hex is tantamount. The hex is the alpha and the omega. A DreadBall miniature merely rests on top of the hex. The miniature must be subservient to the hex in order for the game to function. If a miniature crosses the plain of it’s own hex, it disrupts adjacent hexes and the miniatures that rest upon them. An illustrator and a sculptor must be cognizant of this fact. Often they are not. It does not matter how clever/unique/original a player design may appear. If the physical sculpture breaks the hex plain – it sucks. Creativity must materialize within the parameters of game play. The parameter is the hex. Break the hex, and the miniature is broke. If that conceit reads broken to any Coaches – go play a war game with a ruler.
b) DreadBall is the greatest sport in the galaxy. It’s science fiction. The miniatures need to aesthetically complement the setting. Sculptors and illustrators have a wide berth in this case with only two requirements: science fiction and sports. Nonetheless, some DreadBall miniatures look like they belong in entirely different genres.
Also, humor. DreadBall is dealing with an absurd premise. Intergalactic warring factions of outrageously different species are competing in an organized and sanctioned sport. It’s preposterous. If illustrators and sculptors (and game designers and flavor writers) can embrace the ludicrous theme – so much the better. In my opinion, games that are heavily miniaturized need more levity. Coaches, check yourself and lighten up. We’re playing Space Jam.
Without further ado, here’s are Prof Wojo’s DreadBall Miniature Superlatives!
1. BEST TEAM SCLUPT = Marauders
WORST TEAM SCLUPT = Koris
2. BEST TEAM CAPTAIN SCULPT = Reek Rolat and Raiden (TIE)
WORST TEAM CAPTAIN SCULPT = Kal Terza and Supreme Leader (TIE)
3. BEST MVP SCULPT = Buzzcut
WORST MVP SCLUPT = ORABB1
4. BEST SUPPORT STAFF SCULPT = Fergus (Mercury)
WORST SUPPORT TEAM SCLUPT = Cheerleaders
5. BEST PRONE SCLUPT = Teraton
WORST PRONE SCULPT? = Nameless
6. BEST GIANT SCULPT = Brank ‘Boom-Fist’
WORST GIANT SCLUPT = Karadon
7. BEST IP (Intellectual Property) SCULPT = Hector Weiss
Coaches! This BreadDoll Editor-in-Chief has ONCE AGAIN witnessed one the greatest DreadBall matches of all time. And ONCE AGAIN, it is only now that I begin to sober-up from an intoxicating evening of pure sports genius.
DreadBall league CORT held their second playoff game last night. Season seven was a close affair among all eight Coaches. But as the Championship game approaches, only four can go into the playoffs. The second playoff contest was Brett’s Mean Machine Team (sponsored by Miller Lite) [Trontek 29ers] vs. Alex’s TheReplicants [Draconian All-Stars].
I’m still no Jimmy Olsen, but I did my best to capture the dynamics. Photos detail a few outcomes from key actions and positions at the end of every Rush.
What a finish! Alex programmed magic with Romeo Blue and Linked. Brett’s impressive Support Staff brought (bought?) opportunity and upset over and over. Who would have thought? Two CORT playoff matches BOTH determined in Overtime!?
Brett’s Mean Machine Team heads into the CORT Championship match undefeated. More impressive? Brett is a rookie Coach! is opponent is not so green. Zak is long in the tooth when it comes to DreadBall. His Brokkr team is grizzled, steady, and tough as nails. Brett’s This season will be his sixth appearance in the big game. He’s won four times.
Do readers want to see rosters? Congratulate Coaches? Hire harlots for their own nefarious plans? Let it be known in the comments below. While you’re at it, subscribe to the blog!
Coaches! This BreadDoll Editor-in-Chief may have witnessed one the greatest DreadBall matches of all time. Only now do I begin to sober-up from an intoxicating evening of pure sports genius.
DreadBall league CORT held their first playoff game last night. Season seven was a close affair among all eight Coaches. But as the Championship game approaches, only four can go into the playoffs. First to the pitch was Ken’s Lanier Heights Losers [Rejects] vs. Zak’s Russia’s Red Twitter Bot Army [Brokkr].
I’m no Jimmy Olsen, but I did my best to capture the dynamics. Photos detail a few outcomes from key actions and positions at the end of every Rush. Post-match rosters are at the end.
While Ken does not advance to the Championship match, he does leave behind the specter of past seasons: The Sacko. CORT’s worst Coach of the season is awarded a… less than flattering trophy. Ken has been it’s recipient too often. Not this time. This season, his Rejects grew into a scoring juggernaut and laid some opponents into serious injury.
Zak move into the Championship game! He’s no stranger to the top tier test. With his seventh season appearance, he’s been to the Championship match six times! He’s taken home the colossal CORT DreadBalls Championship Trophy Four times! Will he do it again? And if so, who does he defeat?
CORT’s second playoff match is tonight, June 29 2018. Alex’s Neo-Bots vs. Brett Male Corporation. Will this BreadDoll editor be lucid enough to document the game?!
Comments, questions, and congratulations to the Coaches are welcome below.
Hear ye! Hear ye! Gather round common coaches, and let me share a compelling compilation of numbers. Thy third Origenes Cup has concluded!
The 2018 Origins Game Fair in Columbus Ohio saw a futuristic sports tournament in its 2nd edition, and The Ohio War Kings graciously allowed DreadBall coaches to launch balls in their gaming area. An elite gathering from the stretches of North America competed for seven action-packed hours, and the results were fascinating. Final rankings were a nail biter, even to the last Rush.
The 2018 DreadBall UK National Championship rules pack was in effect, with ONE modification; Only ONE MVP was allowed in a team build.
In short; Team builds were 1,200 mc. No Giants, no transfers, no Ronnie Rejects, and no “We Can Rebuild Him.” Team Captains, support staff, and generic player advancements (one per player at 25 mc) were allowed.
Coach and Team name
Race. Tournament Points. Total Fan Cheers. Total Serious Injuries. Match specs.
8. Joshua Tumbry and his South Bend Sewer Rats!
Veer-myn. 0. 12. 0.
Match 1. vs. Jon Carter. 1 point loss in Rush 10.
Match 2. vs. Wes Anslinger. 7 point loss in Rush 5.
Match 3. vs. David Baker. 7 point loss in Rush 6.
Match 4. vs. Ed Daugh. 4 point loss in Rush 12.
7. Wes Anslinger and his L.E.D.s (Life Extinction Diagnostics)!
Meta-Bots. 3. 26. 2.
Match 1. vs. Richard Matney. 3 point loss in Rush 9.
Match 2. vs. Joshua Tumbry. 7 point win in Rush 5.
Match 3. vs. Jon Carter. 1 point loss in Rush 14.
Match 4. vs. David Baker. 7 point loss in Rush 12.
6. David Baker and his Shaken & Baken!
Trontek 29ers. 6. 20. 1.
Match 1. vs. Geoff Burbidge. 2 point loss in Rush 10.
Match 2. vs. Ed Daugh. 1 point loss in Rush 12.
Match 3. vs. Joshua Tumbry. 7 point win in Rush 6.
Match 4. vs. Wes Anslinger. 7 point win in Rush 12.
5. Ed Daugh and his BUG BASH!
Z’zor. 6. 30. 7.
Match 1. vs. Lee Montgomery. 7 point loss in Rush 11.
Match 2. vs. David Baker. 1 point win in Rush 12.
Match 3. vs. Geoff Burbidge. 1 point loss in Rush 14.
Match 4. vs. Joshua Tumbry. 4 point win in Rush 12.
4. Jon Carter and his Teras Kasi Omegas (TKO)!
Teratons. 7. 57. 4.
Match 1. vs. Joshua Tumbry. 1 point win in Rush 10.
Match 2. vs. Richard Matney. TIE in Rush 12.
Match 3. vs. Wes Anslinger. 1 point win in Rush 14.
Match 4. vs. Lee Montgomery. 7 point loss in Rush 3.
3. Richard Matney and his Proto Doom!
Cyborgs. 7. 72. 4.
Match 1. vs. Wes Anslinger. 3 point win in Rush 9.
Match 2. vs. Jon Carter. TIE in Rush 12.
Match 3. vs. Lee Montgomery. 1 point win in Rush 10.
Match 4. vs. Geoff Burbidge. 1 point loss in Rush 14.
2. Geoff Burbidge and his Unnatural Selection!
Mutants. 9. 18. 0.
Match 1. vs. David Baker. 2 point win in Rush 10.
Match 2. vs. Lee Montgomery. 7 point loss in Rush 3.
Match 3. vs. Ed Daugh. 1 point win in Rush 14.
Match 4. vs. Richard Matney. 1 point win in Rush 14.
Lee Montgomery and his Sim-ian Swarm!
Zees. 9. 32. 0.
Match 1. vs. Ed Daugh. 7 point win in Rush 11.
Match 2. vs. Geoff Burbidge. 7 point win in Rush 3.
Match 3. vs. Richard Matney. 1 point loss in Rush 10.
Match 4. vs. Jon Carter. 7 point win in Rush 3.
The 2018 Origenes Cup could not have been done without the support of many DreadBall fanatics. Thanks to Michael Carter and the Ohio War Kings, Andy Meechan, Ciaran Morris, and my BreadDoll co-editors.
[Editor’s Note: I’m gratefully passing the Tournament Organizer baton to Mike Mueller for Gen Con 2018. I need to answer less questions, and get back on the pitch. I look forward to seeing as many of you as possible in Indianapolis.]