Rush Report: CORT Season 7 Playoffs (2)

Elmer and Dobbs make another appearance on the Azure Forest. Good luck Coaches!

Coaches!  This BreadDoll Editor-in-Chief has ONCE AGAIN witnessed one the greatest DreadBall matches of all time.  And ONCE AGAIN, it is only now that I begin to sober-up from an intoxicating evening of pure sports genius.

DreadBall league CORT held their second playoff game last night.  Season seven was a close affair among all eight Coaches.  But as the Championship game approaches, only four can go into the playoffs.  The second playoff contest was Brett’s Mean Machine Team (sponsored by Miller Lite) [Trontek 29ers] vs. Alex’s The Replicants [Draconian All-Stars].

I’m still no Jimmy Olsen, but I did my best to capture the dynamics.  Photos detail a few outcomes from key actions and positions at the end of every Rush.

Set-up complete, and Alex’s Neo-bots take the first Rush.
Rush 1: Alex ultimately scores 1 point, after a slick Extended Run Interference by Brett. Brett’s Jack took the ball from the launch and played keep away. Alex gave chase, knocking both the Jack prone AND seriously injuring Brett’s best Striker. Only then was it time to score.
And THIS is what happens when you take the ball on another Coach’s Rush.
Alex’s support staff is well trained…
Rush 2: Brett retaliates with a two pointer. Score = Brett 1.
Rush 3: Alex attempts to smash Brett’s second good Striker and comes up short via Brett’s leggy line of Cheerleaders. So Alex heads off to pick up the ball. And fails.
Rush 4: Brett takes advantage of the loose ball. Two precious cards are spent, but Brett pulls in a one pointer. Score = Brett 2.
Rush 5: Alex does what he does, and he finishes his actions with a two point Strike. Score = TIED
Rush 6: Brett returns fire with a two point Strike of his own. Score = Brett 2.
Rush 7: Surprise surprise. Alex scores 2. Score = TIED
Rush 8: The pattern continues. Brett returns the maneuver with his own 2 point Strike. Again, the score = Brett 2.
Rush 9: Alex pushes AND SCORES A THREE! Brett did his best to prevent it: An extended RI and two cards burns. It didn’t work. Alex takes the lead.
Rush 10: And Brett returns fire with a two pointer. Score = Brett 1.
Rush 11: Alex “lays wood,” and takes out another Striker with a Serious Injury. Then, a two point Strike.
Rush 12: Brett’s Guard smashes the previously scoring Neo-bot Striker and sends him out for 2. Then, Brett’s Jack grabs the ball and shoots for 1. Score = TIED.
Rush 13: Alex almost has the ball, until he doesn’t. F***ing Cheerleader. FLAUNT IT FLAUNT IT FLAUNT IT
Rush 14: The ball is within reach. It is Brett’s game to lose…
And what comes around, goes around. Alex uses his own Cheerleader’s ‘Flaunt It,’ and the Rush is over. Off to Over Time!
OT/Rush 15: Alex is pole position for a ball pick up. UNTIL BRETT PLAYS EXTENDED RUN INTERFERENCE! An incredible string of luck allows the Jack to weasel away from threats, pick up the ball, run, and throw to a ready Striker.
Brett scores 1. ON ALEX’S RUSH.
Alex finally grabs the newly launched ball, and fires off a shot for two. Score = Alex 1.
OT / Rush 16: Brett spends 3 action tokens buying cards, just in case he needs to reroll. Then, a reliable Striker just needs to double the pick up, dash, and score two. Doable, right? Doesn’t pick up the ball. CARD. Doesn’t double the pick up. CARD. Doesn’t dash. CARD. Doesn’t make the two point shot. COACH! Brett wins by 1.

What a finish!  Alex programmed magic with Romeo Blue and Linked.  Brett’s impressive Support Staff brought (bought?) opportunity and upset over and over.  Who would have thought?  Two CORT playoff matches BOTH determined in Overtime!?

Brett’s Mean Machine Team heads into the CORT Championship match undefeated.  More impressive?  Brett is a rookie Coach! is opponent is not so green.  Zak is long in the tooth when it comes to DreadBall.  His Brokkr team is grizzled, steady, and tough as nails.  Brett’s  This season will be his sixth appearance in the big game.  He’s won four times.

Do readers want to see rosters?  Congratulate Coaches?  Hire harlots for their own nefarious plans?  Let it be known in the comments below.  While you’re at it, subscribe to the blog!

Rush Report: CORT Season 7 Playoffs (1)


Coaches!  This BreadDoll Editor-in-Chief may have witnessed one the greatest DreadBall matches of all time.  Only now do I begin to sober-up from an intoxicating evening of pure sports genius.

DreadBall league CORT held their first playoff game last night.  Season seven was a close affair among all eight Coaches.  But as the Championship game approaches, only four can go into the playoffs.  First to the pitch was Ken’s Lanier Heights Losers [Rejects] vs. Zak’s Russia’s Red Twitter Bot Army [Brokkr].

I’m no Jimmy Olsen, but I did my best to capture the dynamics.  Photos detail a few outcomes from key actions and positions at the end of every Rush.  Post-match rosters are at the end.

Removed from the normal stadiums in the CORTroom dungeon, this playoff match was held in The Kearny Lounge at Hill House. As such, the outlying Azure Forest pitch was employed. Brokkr begin the 1st rush.
Zak uses his Brokkr Team Captain to good use. His 3+ Skill Striker uses THREE actions (plus a card) to get into the deep strike zone. Score for 3 in Rush 1.


Ken exhausts one card, and two actions to gang up on Zak’s Team Captain. The Driller Thriller goes out for 1.
Ken finishes his Rush 2 with an unguarded 2 point Strike.
Rush 3: Zak brushes aside the tree beast and scores a 4!
Rush 4: Ken beats down on the last Stirker, and returns fire once again with his Renegade Yndij. 2 points!
Rush 5: A pattern emerges. Zak now brings in a Jack to score a 2 pointer. Meanwhile…
Rush 6: Ken lays the beatdown from behind on the recently scored Jack. Then his Cherry picking Stiker once again effortlessly grabs the ball and scores for 2. Score, Zak 3.
Rush 7: I’ll be damned.  Zak uses his Team Captain card “Brokkr and role” – the little f***er rolls two spaces away from the Tree Beast, and then stands up!
AND here’s the first big swing and a miss. Zak goes for the shot and comes up short. Ken’s Rush!
Rush 8: Ken sacks Zak, but does not acquire the ball. Off to Rush 9! Score is still 3 Zak.
Rush 9: Zak is caught in a logger jam. The ball remains untouched.
Rush 10: Ken piles on! A barely seen Striker enters the pitch to lock up the Team Captain even MORE. MOAR!!! Meanwhile, Ken sends his Zee Jack to grab the ball and boogie to the.. Dugout?
Rush 11: Zak finishes up his Rush with no ball, and little to show. EXCEPT. The Reject Jetari Guard has taken a power down in the sin bin.
Rush 12: Ken brings that Zee Jack up to mid-field and passes to his primo Striker. You know what happens next…
Ken scores! The 2 pointer moves the score differential to 1 point Zak. Meanwhile, Ken brought out a Blood Sucking Nameless Jack to cock-block Zak’s 3+ Skill Striker.
Rush 13: Zak deftly scores 3 thanks to his Team Captain supporting three actions per player and that handsome 3+ Skill Striker.
Rush 14: Ken pulls off the impossible. The bloodsucker comes up to attack a Keeper with his Zee Jack assisting. Cards are rerolled, as well as a Cheerleader. THE LANE IS OPEN!
Rush 14: Ken makes his first 4 point strike of the game. OVERTIME!!!
OT / Rush “15”: Zak scores 3. Can Ken stay alive?
OT/ “Rush 16”: Ken clears his lane for a 4 point opportunity. Then, Zak plays a Cheerleader on the ball pick-up. Ken rolls a one. Game over. Zak 3 points. ONE HELL OF.A GAME. Perhaps the best I’ve seen. Well done Coaches.
Ken’s finished roster. 1 of 2.
Ken’s finished roster. 2 of 2.
Zak’s finished roster. 1 of 1.

While Ken does not advance to the Championship match, he does leave behind the specter of past seasons: The Sacko.  CORT’s worst Coach of the season is awarded a… less than flattering trophy.  Ken has been it’s recipient too often.  Not this time.  This season, his Rejects grew into a scoring juggernaut and laid some opponents into serious injury.

Zak move into the Championship game!  He’s no stranger to the top tier test.  With his seventh season appearance, he’s been to the Championship match six times!  He’s taken home the colossal CORT DreadBalls Championship Trophy Four times!  Will he do it again?  And if so, who does he defeat?

CORT’s second playoff match is tonight, June 29 2018.  Alex’s Neo-Bots vs. Brett Male Corporation.  Will this BreadDoll editor be lucid enough to document the game?!

Comments, questions, and congratulations to the Coaches are welcome below.

Top Tips: The “Secret” to Success

Shhhhhhh….it’s a “secret”!


Well, it’s no secret that I love DreadBall. Really, I enjoy not just the “game”, but also the future sport it’s meant to depict. However, one of the things I really enjoy about the DreadBall hobby, is continually learning something new. It helps keeps the hobby fresh and exciting.

One of the best ways to create opportunities for learning something new is playing in tournaments. I really appreciate the way it creates match-ups against coaches I’m not familiar with, and that see and play the game differently than I do. Sometimes it’s simply different set-ups. Other times, it’s different tactics. Or even just a more varied team composition, or compositional preference. Regardless, it usually gives a jolt of inspiration to develop something I can adapt and incorporate into my own style of play.

When it comes to tournaments, though, there is one learning tool that I prize above all the rest. The “secret mission”. Every tournament for the last couple years, I have set myself some additional objective that I try to achieve. This has the added dimension of having to look at the game differently than I normally do, and doing away with some of my own “best practices”. In so doing, I sometimes develop very effective new ideas. And sometimes, it simply helps reinforce why best practices are best! 

These “secret” missions have ranged from not using a particular formation, to seeing how many Punts I could pull off in a tournament, or even just challenging myself with a team I don’t usually use. The mission didn’t matter so much as it provided new “discovery” opportunities in playing the game—the ones that give a rush of excitement when you “discover” a new combo, team makeup, or tactic that you can’t wait to try. It’s simply my opinion, but I feel it also helps add variety, and therefore longevity, to the game. And in the process, I think it’s helped me become a better player too.

2018-03-23 19.17.05
“Check out THIS combo….”

If you get a chance, you really owe it to yourself to participate in a DreadBall tournament. If you feel that’s old hat, maybe freshen things up and take a “secret mission” for a spin? 

Anyway, keep it secret, keep it safe, and Good Luck when you hit the pitch!


Tournament Time / Rush Report: Origenes Cup III

Hear ye!  Hear ye!  Gather round common coaches, and let me share a compelling compilation of numbers.  Thy third Origenes Cup has concluded!


The 2018 Origins Game Fair in Columbus Ohio saw a futuristic sports tournament in its 2nd edition, and The Ohio War Kings graciously allowed DreadBall coaches to launch balls in their gaming area.  An elite gathering from the stretches of North America competed for seven action-packed hours, and the results were fascinating.  Final rankings were a nail biter, even to the last Rush.

The 2018 DreadBall UK National Championship rules pack was in effect, with ONE modification; Only ONE MVP was allowed in a team build.

In short; Team builds were 1,200 mc.  No Giants, no transfers, no Ronnie Rejects, and no “We Can Rebuild Him.”  Team Captains, support staff, and generic player advancements (one per player at 25 mc) were allowed.



Coach and Team name

Race.  Tournament Points.  Total Fan Cheers.  Total Serious Injuries.  Match specs.

8.  Joshua Tumbry and his South Bend Sewer Rats!

Veer-myn.  0.  12.  0.

Match 1.  vs. Jon Carter.  1 point loss in Rush 10.

Match 2.  vs. Wes Anslinger.  7 point loss in Rush 5.

Match 3.  vs. David Baker.  7 point loss in Rush 6.

Match 4.  vs. Ed Daugh.  4 point loss in Rush 12.

7.  Wes Anslinger and his L.E.D.s (Life Extinction Diagnostics)!

Meta-Bots.  3.  26.  2.

Match 1.  vs. Richard Matney.  3 point loss in Rush 9.

Match 2.  vs. Joshua Tumbry.  7 point win in Rush 5.

Match 3.  vs. Jon Carter.  1 point loss in Rush 14.

Match 4.  vs. David Baker.  7 point loss in Rush 12.

6.  David Baker and his Shaken & Baken!

Trontek 29ers.  6.  20.  1.

Match 1.  vs. Geoff Burbidge.  2 point loss in Rush 10.

Match 2.  vs. Ed Daugh.  1 point loss in Rush 12.

Match 3.  vs. Joshua Tumbry.  7 point win in Rush 6.

Match 4.  vs. Wes Anslinger.  7 point win in Rush 12.

5.  Ed Daugh and his BUG BASH!

Z’zor.  6.  30.  7.

Match 1.  vs. Lee Montgomery.  7 point loss in Rush 11.

Match 2.  vs. David Baker.  1 point win in Rush 12.

Match 3.  vs. Geoff Burbidge.  1 point loss in Rush 14.

Match 4.  vs. Joshua Tumbry.  4 point win in Rush 12.

4.  Jon Carter and his Teras Kasi Omegas (TKO)!

Teratons.  7.  57.  4.

Match 1.  vs.  Joshua Tumbry.  1 point win in Rush 10.

Match 2.  vs. Richard Matney.  TIE in Rush 12.

Match 3.  vs. Wes Anslinger.  1 point win in Rush 14.

Match 4.  vs. Lee Montgomery.  7 point loss in Rush 3.

3.  Richard Matney and his Proto Doom!

Cyborgs.  7.  72.  4.

Match 1.  vs. Wes Anslinger.  3 point win in Rush 9.

Match 2.  vs. Jon Carter.  TIE in Rush 12.

Match 3.  vs. Lee Montgomery.  1 point win in Rush 10.

Match 4.  vs. Geoff Burbidge.  1 point loss in Rush 14.

2.  Geoff Burbidge and his Unnatural Selection!

Mutants.  9.  18.  0.

Match 1.  vs.  David Baker.  2 point win in Rush 10.

Match 2.  vs. Lee Montgomery.  7 point loss in Rush 3.

Match 3.  vs. Ed Daugh.  1 point win in Rush 14.

Match 4.  vs. Richard Matney.  1 point win in Rush 14.


Lee Montgomery and his Sim-ian Swarm!

Zees.  9.  32.  0.

Match 1.  vs. Ed Daugh.  7 point win in Rush 11.

Match 2.  vs. Geoff Burbidge.  7 point win in Rush 3.

Match 3.  vs. Richard Matney.  1 point loss in Rush 10.

Match 4.  vs. Jon Carter.  7 point win in Rush 3.

Joshua may have lost, but he WON the BreadDoll!
This may be the only picture of Ed smiling. He’s a killer, with a shed full of seven corpses. MOST BRUTAL.
Most distanced traveled (California), Richard not only took third place – his Cyborgs were FAN FAVORITES!
Geoff’s takes home 2nd as well as BEST PAINTED. His mutants were both ugly and beautiful (or so says judge Michael Carter).
Tactician and Terror on the pitch. But also the Champion and nicest guy on planet Earth – Lee Montgomery.

The 2018 Origenes Cup could not have been done without the support of many DreadBall fanatics.  Thanks to Michael Carter and the Ohio War Kings, Andy Meechan, Ciaran Morris, and my BreadDoll co-editors.

[Editor’s Note: I’m gratefully passing the Tournament Organizer baton to Mike Mueller for Gen Con 2018.  I need to answer less questions, and get back on the pitch.  I look forward to seeing as many of you as possible in Indianapolis.]

Know thy opponent, or know defeat…

Hobby Highlight: Painting my Crystallans


In this article I breakdown how I painted my Crystallan DreadBall team. As always any colors I refer to, unless stated otherwise, are Army Painter colors.

If you weren’t aware the Crystallan DreadBall minis come in a translucent blue plastic.


You can achieve a neat effect by leaving part of the models unpainted. I knew I didn’t want to leave the translucent plastic of the minis showing through since the (then MVP) now Team Captain wasn’t also produced in the translucent blue plastic.

Using Photoshop I decided I wanted to go with grey rock and purple crystals.


I started as I usually do by priming the miniature grey. Since I painted this team before I had an airbrush I used Army Painter Uniform Grey spray primer.


Having the grey base was a great start on my grey rocks. I washed the minis with Dark Tone followed by several progressively lighter dry brushes from Uniform Grey all the way to White.

The armor parts I based in Wolf Grey. I applied a Dark Tone wash which I then re-highlighted with he Wolf Grey. A further highlight of Game Color Wolf Grey was used before a final glaze of Crystal Blue.

Finally the crystals. I based the crystals in Game Color Squid Pink and then applied a wash of Purple Tone. Finally using White I did fine outlining of the crystals.

Here is a gallery of the results.


Top Tips: How to Get Lucky

How to “Get Lucky”


Final Rush. Down by three. One action left. Your Striker has the ball, makes an evade, a dash and launches the throw from the 4-point bonus hex…..IT’S GOOD!

“You got lucky!” Your opponent harrumphes. 

Well, did ya….punk?

Here are some tips to try and ensure you “get lucky” as often as you please.

  1. KNOW WHAT NEEDS DONE! If you need to score, for example, make sure you save at least one action token for that (or not, if you have a card, but more on that later). Some vets will count out what action tokens they NEED to do and set them aside, leaving the rest for any extraneous actions to play with first. This may seem frivolous, but keep in mind, success in small actions can have knock on effects, like removing opposing players, or generating fan checks that result in bonus dice or cards. It also helps to make your Rush more efficient. With only 5 tokens, there will be times you will need to prioritise
  2. POSITION PLAYERS TO SUCCEED. If you want your Striker to have the ball with a chance to score at the end of the match, they can’t be on the bench. Likewise, if you want to make a successful Slam, use a Guard if you can. Trying to decide if you want to Steal or Slam to get the ball? Which is your player best at, and can you get behind the opposition first? You know the saying, it’s “How you use it” that matters!
  3. PICK A CARD, ANY CARD. Get some DB cards. Somehow. Whether you have them on your roster, generate them from fan checks (I almost never take the dice), or simply spend some action tokens to acquire them throughout the game. The cards are HUGE! They serve two primary purposes. One, they can give you extra actions later in a Rush when you need to do more than 5 tokens will allow. Two, they can provide some additional “insurance” on those critical rolls when you NEED it most. Don’t underestimate the cards.
  4. PLAY SMART! This goes back to the “know your team” advice from The Playbook. If your team isn’t built to smash, don’t waste actions on it! If your team is full of brutes, lay the hurt down early and often. Play smart by matching your team capabilities to a strategy that utilizes them effectively.

2018-03-24 22.19.11

So, there you go. Four tips to help you get lucky. Go get ‘em tiger!

Mechanite Team Builder (Excel Sheet)



Following up to the Mutant team building spreadsheet, here is the Mechanite team building spreadsheet with all the same features.


The Mechanites were one of my favorite teams in the 1st Edition of DreadBall. I look forward to seeing what I can come up with for the 2nd Edition. No doubt I will need to build even more miniatures for my new list(s).